"I've
tried everything" The exasperated parent is discouraged. The teachers are fed up. The child is troubled: not motivated in school, disconnected and irresponsible at home, erratic, emotional or acting out aggressively. Daily life is a swirl of threats, lectures, maybe even outbursts of physical violence. School personnel and counselors speak of disabilities and mental disorders. What solutions are left? Special education? Medication? Hospitalization?
Family struggles start with an imbalance: too much or too little protection and control of children. "Balanced parenting" is my term for a way of raising responsible, motivated children that is uncomplicated and based on common sense. Many of the most common solutions to children's problems aren't solutions at all. If fact, they can make a bad situation worse. The diagnoses of Attention Deficit Disorder or vague learning disabilities, for instance, are highly subjective and rarely based on any standard criteria. Prescribing medication - most notably Ritalin - is an easy step, but usually not the best one. This approach, and others like it, makes the child a helpless victim who can't be expected to do better without the help of experts and drugs.
The right tools for the right
job
I can supply techniques for families and educators that put the responsibility
for self-control back in the child's hands. Parents and others will find
that they are able to prevent problems in simple ways that do not involve
long, costly, confusing and ineffective involvement with experts.
Putting the pieces
together
Here you will find information on my system of School-Based Collaboration
with Families. I emphasize open, direct, assertive communication between
parents and teachers and the active involvement of children in solving
their own problems. You'll have the opportunity to read case studies of
how children have overcome behavioral problems by changing the way they
react to the relationships in their lives and to the forces around them.
Dr. J. Brien O'Callaghan is a clinical psychologist with over 32 years, first as a teacher and guidance counselor, and since 1981, as a practicing marriage and family therapist. He is a consultant to several school systems using his model of school-based collaboration with families.
For appointments and scheduled consultations, please contact Dr. J. Brien O'Callaghan at 203-740-2595 or write to him at J. Brien O'Callaghan, Ph.D., 246 Federal Road, C-24, Brookfield, CT 06804